Some weird jokes after a post-Chinese New Year's dinner

A lot of important things happened today: we had a talk by Peter Ladefoged (a given for all phonetics students, past and present - he wrote a major textbook on phonetics written more than 30 years ago that is still being used in many, if not most, phonetics courses today. He talked about why "My Fair Lady" has terrible phonetics, but is still a good movie. Why did he bring this up? Well, he was an on-site advisor for the part of Dr Higgins, the phonetician. And yet, for his part, his name didn't even appear in the credits. Heh, go figure...

After the talk, a bunch of us went to a local Chinese restaurant and had some good food. And as is traditional for Chinese New Year, we had a dish of noodles, chao fen (or "chow fun") to be exact. When everyone had his/her fill, the jokes began to flow... Like this one from childhood: "If half a chicken laid half an egg in half a day, how much does a pound of butter weigh"? Has anyone out there heard of this?

Another one, provided by Nancy C.: "If a millipede a pint and a centipede a quart, how much does a precipice? -- As much as a tomato can." You have to sound it out to fully appreciate it...

Aduh, cang suba kiyap - Tu dah, bin mani semengan patut bangun pagi-pagi. Bes pagi-pagi. Tingalin apa ci, nagih apa ci! Kewah! Patute gae ene bes keras!